Wednesday, 29 December 2021

Badmouthing 👄

So, it happens to me now. A coworker, who is known as an envious person, talks behind my back. To my boss, to my subordinate, and maybe to her/my friends. 

Aku paham sebenarnya apa kesalahanku ke dia, aku selalu jadi yang paling terakhir (telat) submit laporanku ke dia. Tapi, sepertinya apapun yang aku lakukan akan dibesarkan kejelekannya. Apa pun. 

I never think about moving to another unit until I experience this. No matter how challenging the workload is, as long as I have a good team that supports each other, work is just a job. But, working with someone that always finds your mistake even a small mistake, or criticizes you behind your back, is somewhat tiring.

Monday, 25 October 2021

Nothing

Perhaps, one day when the happiness blooms in my heart or when I feel important for anyone on the Earth, I will change my profile again.

But, now, I'm just nothing other than dust in the universe, who really want to just disappear.

So I won't feel sad, hurt, disappointed, or make anyone feel the same feeling.





Saturday, 9 October 2021

Student Lead Conference (SLC) di SD Kreativa

Ibu: What's your favorite subject?

Fatih: Mmm, English.

Ibu: And, what subject do you think is the most difficult?

Fatih: Bahasa Sunda.

Haha, sama, Ibu juga ngga bisa Bahasa Sunda, cuma bisa Bahasa Jawa. 😁

 Dialog di atas adalah percakapan Ibu dan Fatih saat Student Lead Conference kemarin.




Thursday, 5 August 2021

Keep trying, Ibu

I just realized one thing after all the years of struggling as a good mother and wife.
That, being a mother and a good wife as well as a good daughter is a process.
A lifetime process.
The exam is every day.
But we don't know the result yet until tomorrow.
Tomorrow, when we finally leave the world behind.
After that day, what people would remember about us is the result.
After that day, what Allah would reward us is the result.

So, just keep trying, Ibu.

And don't be sad anymore to be a not-perfect person ...


Wednesday, 4 August 2021

Just a feeling (s)

I don't understand why someone keeps complaining about life but didn't try to make it better. 

A couple of days ago, I tried to serve something to my family even though my heart felt heavy with nothing -- I just felt so sad and stressed out. But, I saw how my effort to cook didn't appreciate, the food ended up in the garbage the next day. With my period coming, I couldn't handle my feeling. Feeling not appreciated, feeling not capable, feeling not enough for everyone. 


Wednesday, 17 March 2021

KSR, My Escape Family

"Siamo Tutti Fratelli, Kita Semua Bersaudara!"

Bulan Maret, adalah bulan yang identik dengan KSR karena di bulan inilah diperingati HUT KSR PMI Unit I IPB. Untuk memperingati eksistensi KSR di IPB ini, biasanya pengurus akan mengadakan acara Tepalkos; kepanjangan dari Temu Pembina, Alumni, dan Korps. Acara Tepalkos dikemas dalam bentuk menginap bersama di vila, diisi dengan perkenalan, games, jalan-jalan, dll, pokoknya kegiatan yang mengakrabkan, lah. 

Maret tahun lalu, 2020, merupakan bulan dimana dinyatakan adanya PSBB di Indonesia sebagai upaya pencegahan pandemi Covid-19 di seluruh dunia. Tentu saja, implikasinya adalah Tepalkos juga tidak dapat diselenggarakan tahun lalu. Dan, hingga Maret tahun ini pun pandemi Covid-19 belum juga dinyatakan usai, meskipun kondisi tahun ini mulai menunjukkan harapan dengan telah adanya vaksin atas virus tersebut dan proses vaksinasi juga telah ramai digalakkan, termasuk di Indonesia.

Meskipun tahun ini KSR tidak dapat mengadakan Tepalkos, tapi ada rasa yang berbeda di bulan Maret tahun ini. Para pendiri KSR, seperti Kak Riza dan Kak Ipul, mengadakan lomba menulis tentang KSR yang bisa diikuti oleh semua anggota. Tadinya aku sama sekali tidak tertarik menulis apapun. Banyaknya pekerjaan kantor yang belum diselesaikan, sudah cukup menjejali pikiran. 

Namun, banyaknya tulisan adik-adik dan kakak-kakak yang berlalu lalang tentang kisah-kisah mereka di KSR, entah mengapa seolah membawa kembali serpihan-serpihan nostalgia di masa lalu. Kenangan mendaki jalan menuju lokasi pelantikan, mengendap-endap di lorong asrama dengan baju penuh lumpur, menangis bersama, makan bersama-sama dari sehelai daun pisang, menjadi tim medis atau mengisi pelatihan medis, hingga merasakan kecewa karena tidak bisa merengkuh teman-teman yang dulunya seperjuangan.